


I'm scared

by orphan_account



Category: Left 4 Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22625080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Nick can't sleep and decides to sit with Ellis.
Relationships: Ellis/Nick (Left 4 Dead)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	I'm scared

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what I'm doing. I didn't really go into hardcore editing, so it probably sucks. But I just needed to get something out because I've had a terrible block and just need to get some juices going. So enjoy it if you even can.

“Why’re you up?”

Nick looked at Ellis, who was perched on a table. He had been facing the door, but now tired blue eyes watched Nick with curiosity.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Oh.”

The conversation, if it could be called that, fell with Ellis’ numb response. Ellis looked back at the door. Nick sat down on the couch that faced a now useless television. The house had no electricity, even if it did, Nick wouldn’t turn it on due to noise.

“Y’know, when I was younger, I’d ask my mama to sing me to sleep.”

“Really?”

“Yessum.”

“I couldn’t imagine.”

Ellis turned to look at Nick due to the sarcasm in his tone. He seemed to pout and turn back around, “Well, I’m just thinkin’, maybe you could do somethin’ that helped you sleep when you was younger.” Nick sighed.

Ellis kept his gaze forward, “Your mama ever sing to you?” Nick almost laughed at the idea, “No, Ellis. She didn’t.” Ellis didn’t seem to pick up on the annoyance, he continued, “How about your daddy? Did they read you any stories? What’d you do when you got nightmares?” Nick groaned, “Ellis.”

“Hm?”

“Stop talking.”

The request seemed to work, Ellis was silent. Nick bathed in the silence, he loved it. As he was reveling in the quietness of the house, he heard something that sounded like a sniff. He looked at Ellis. He saw Ellis’s hand move to his face and rub his eyes before moving back into his lap. He saw Ellis’ shoulders bounce a bit like he was crying.

“Are you crying?” Nick didn’t mean to ask, it just happened.

“Uh-huh.”

“Why?” Nick didn’t care why, so he wasn’t sure why he asked.

“Miss ‘em.”

“Your parents?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

This time Nick responded dryly. He wasn’t sure what to say. Ellis never so much as frowned, and here he was, crying. Sometimes Nick forgot the other three in the group were human, he forgot they had emotions. He forgot they needed reassurance and comfort.

“Ellis?”

“Huh?”

“Come sit with me.”

“Naw.”

“Why?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“What is?”

“Cryin’.”

Nick sighed and stood up, he walked to the table and sat down next to Ellis. Ellis looked away from Nick, trying to hide his face, “Y’know you need to go to bed. Big day tomorrow.” Nick shrugged, “I’ll be fine.” Ellis kept his head down, Nick didn’t try to look. He just sat there, let Ellis try to keep the tears at bay. Just as Nick began to feel like Ellis wasn’t going to ever let up, the dam broke.

Ellis hid his face in his hands and sobbed.

Nick could easily say it was the most heartbreaking sound he had heard.

“I just want to know that they’re- they’re okay.”

“I know, Ellis.”  
“I’m so- so scared.”

“I am too.”

That made Ellis peek up at Nick. Nick studied Ellis’s face. It was red, with unstoppable tears pouring from his eyes. Ellis cocked his head a bit, “You’re scared?” Nick nodded, “I’m terrified.” Ellis sniffled, “Why’re you scared? I thought you didn’t care ‘bout anything.” Nick had to look away, “I’m terrified to lose all of this.” Ellis seemed to gather the information before dumbly responding with: “What?”

Nick laughed softly, “I’m scared to die, for the first time in my life. I’m scared because I don’t want to lose Coach, Rochelle, or you. That fact also scares me, knowing I’ve become so, I don’t know, reliant on the three of you.” Nick looked at Ellis, “Keep this between us, but, I’m so fucking scared to lose you, Ellis. So fucking scared.” 

Ellis rubbed his eyes, “Why? You’d still have Ro and Coach.” 

Nick nodded, “But, they aren’t you. They don’t run into hordes with a katana in one hand and a pistol in the other. They don’t take my teasing. They don’t listen to me. They don’t calm me down. They don’t make me feel the way you make me feel.”

“How do I make you feel?”

“Loved?”

“Ah, that’s good.”

“It is.”

Ellis stared at Nick and smiled softly, “I still miss my parents.”

Nick suddenly felt guilty for talking about his feelings.

“But, it’s a nice talking ‘bout this,” Ellis said, looking back at the door, “I always wanna make you feel loved. I’m happy I’m doin’ a good job at it.”

Nick sighed softly, “Ellis, I don’t know what to feel anymore.”

“What’chu mean?”

Nick swallowed, “About you.” Ellis smiled, his gaze never leaving the door, “Feel however you want about me, Nick.” Nick clicked his tongue, “That’s the issue, I’m not sure how to feel about you. Like, I want to kiss you.” Nick regretted the words as they left his mouth.  
“Well, then kiss me.”

Nick nearly broke his neck with how fast he looked at Ellis. The baby blue eyes were staring up at him, “Maybe you can get your head straight if you do.” Nick looked at Ellis’ lips, puffy from the short cry. He looked back into Ellis’ eyes, “You’re from the south.” Ellis nodded, “That I am.” Nick furrowed his eyebrows, “Don’t you hate gay people in the south?” Ellis laughed softly, the noise was musical, “Naw, man, I can’t hate gay people if I am one.” Nick raised his eyebrows, “Ehh, I feel like you definitely could.”

“Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to kiss me?”

“Yeah.”

“Please do it.”

“Okay.”

Nick gently grabbed the bill of Ellis’ hat and pulled it off. Messy blonde curls framed Ellis’ face, and Nick felt that Ellis was the most beautiful human on Earth. Ellis had long eyelashes that cast shadows on his flushed cheeks. His blue eyes were lidded, waiting for Nick to continue. His lips were torn up from nervous chewing, but Nick didn’t care. Ellis had freckles gently dusting his cheeks, and that scar on the bridge of his nose was something Nick couldn’t get enough of.

Nick kissed the scar, and then he kissed Ellis’ freckles. He moved to kiss Ellis’s lips. He muttered, looking into Ellis’ eyes, “If you want me to stop, tell me.” Ellis hummed in agreeance. Nick tilted his head a bit and pressed his lips against Ellis’. There was no tongue, no mouthing at each other, no biting.

It was amazing.

The kiss lasted for just a few seconds, but Nick felt like the air was cleaner, the world was brighter, everything in that moment, was _perfect_.

They pulled away, and Nick hadn’t noticed Ellis’ arms snaked around his neck. They stayed there, and Nick loved the feeling. Nick spoke quietly, “Want me to leave?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to, just, stay like this.”

“Okay.”

Ellis eventually cuddled into Nick’s side, his arms unwrapped around Nick’s neck and they leaned against each other. Nick held Ellis’s hand. They stayed like that until Rochelle got up and took over the watch. They still stayed together, going into Nick’s temporary bedroom together and cuddling next to each other.

Nick finally went to sleep.


End file.
